“Live the fleeting day with passion”: a survey of views on how we are to live

By John Coss

John is a retired actuary and acting chair of Stockport Humanists

Why do we exist? The question can be addressed in two ways: by an account of evolution or by considering how people should live their lives. I focus here on the second response, mainly as it relates to individuals. There is also much to be said about how to enable everyone to flourish, and the planetary responsibilities of humanity as a whole, but these enormous topics are for another article.

For nearly 10 years, Greater Manchester Humanists ran an introductory course on humanism, and two sessions of the course in particular contain material directly relating to my theme: one takes a look at happiness and well-being from a humanist perspective, and the other explores meaning and purpose in life for humanists. I draw extensively on this material, which was developed by Robin Grinter and Anna Whitehead.

Happiness and wellbeing

Humanism is a positive set of beliefs and attitudes, and an ethical approach to life. Some of the features of a good life from a humanist perspective are brought out in the following quotations:

• “We develop meaning and purpose in life by identifying an emotionally and intellectually

  satisfying belief system.”  James Siddelley, a member of Greater Manchester Humanists)

• “We should live the fleeting day with passion.”  Richard Holloway, former Bishop of Edinburgh

• “We can make our lives worth living with all the more intensity because we know that –  

  like all things – they have a final and irrevocable end.”  Andrew Copson, Chief Executive of Humanists UK

•  “Always treat people as ends in themselves, never as means to an end.”  Immanuel Kant, 18th century German philosopher

•  “Humanism is a philosophy of joyous service for the greater good of humanity, of application

  of new ideas of scientific progress for the benefit of all.” Linus Pauling, American biochemist and peace activist

• “Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or

  punishments after you are dead.”  Kurt Vonnegut, American novelist

• “Happiness is the only good: the time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here, and the way to be happy is to make others so.”  Robert Ingersoll, 19th century secularist

The concept of happiness has been explored and developed as a key element in secular morality since the times of classical Greece. Here are some examples:

• “Eudaimonia” or living well: the fulfilment of human potential, living a virtuous life by a conscious desire to do good in the world and achieve the best you can (Aristotle 384-322 BCE)

• Happiness and contentment in agreement with nature, abandoning desires for wealth and possessions and living a simple life (Diogenes 412-323 BCE, the Cynics)

• Modest pleasures avoiding excess, and reciprocity in seeking the happiness of others as well as your own (Epicurus 341-269 BCE, the Epicureans)

• The American Declaration of Independence 1776: the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” (Thomas Jefferson, 1743-1826)

• Need for legislation to secure “the greatest happiness of the greatest number” (Jeremy Bentham 1748-1832)

• Pursuit of happiness and higher pleasures – the concept of human dignity (John Stuart Mill 1806-1873)

In Happiness: The science behind your smile (2005) psychologist Daniel Nettle examined various concepts of happiness and whether people are basically happy or unhappy, and why. He suggested that happiness can usefully be considered on three levels:

Level 1: Momentary feelings – pleasure and joy

Level 2: Judgements about feelings – satisfaction, contentment and well being

Level 3: Quality of life – flourishing and fulfilling one’s potential 

Nettle argued that while pleasure and life satisfaction (levels 1 and 2) are important, they can be transient and subject to “adaptation” (meaning that, after a while, we cease to notice them). In contrast, meaning and purpose (level 3) offer a more enduring form of happiness that can provide a sense of fulfilment even in the absence of immediate pleasure. This form of happiness is linked to having goals, values, and a sense of contribution to something larger than oneself. 

From his research, Nettle concluded that people’s enduring sense of happiness or unhappiness comes as least as much from themselves and the way they think as it does from the objective facts of their circumstances. And his research suggested that happiness depends more on your circumstances of living relative to your own society than on their absolute level. He considered the problem of how to be happy, ideas on how to achieve it, and the ways in which they can work. Finally, he reviewed what we know about the often paradoxical psychology of happiness, and suggested that happiness is a handmaiden to evolution’s purpose – functioning not so much as actual reward but as an imaginary goal that gives us direction and purpose. After all, Thomas Jefferson’s fundamental right was not happiness itself, but the pursuit of happiness.  Among the many ideas Nettle discussed as conducive to happiness is the concept of flow – feeling completely absorbed in a challenging activity for which you have the skills which are stretched to the limit.

Nettle’s short book is well worth reading, and writing about it has prompted me to read it again. For further reviews, see Good Reads (registration on this site, which is free, is required to access this.)

Self-actualisation and transcendence

American psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) was one of the pioneers of humanistic psychology. He is best known for the “hierarchy of needs”, “self-actualisation”, and ”peak experiences”. But there is much more to his thinking. His ideas derived from a wide range of experience, contact with many eminent thinkers from a wide range of disciplines, and extensive reading.

Maslow first formulated the ”hierarchy of needs” in a 1943 paper developing a theory of motivation. It is often represented in a colourful pyramid, though Maslow himself never did so.  This five-tier model starts with basic physiological needs such as food and shelter at the lowest level, progressing up to safety needs, to love and belonging needs, and then to esteem needs. He called all these ”deficiency needs”, and placed what he called ”being” or “growth” needs” above them at the top of the pyramid.  Maslow initial thought was that behaviour is primarily motivated by the needs at the lowest level in this hierarchy that are not adequately met, although he later recognised that this is not always the case, and indeed for most people the basic needs are partly satisfied and partly dissatisfied at the same time. When all the “deficiency” needs are adequately satisfied, the main motivators are “being or growth” needs, the search for self-actualisation – the realisation of one’s potential, self-fulfilment, seeking personal growth, and peak experiences.  Maslow wanted as many as possible to be in this position and seek to become “all that they are capable of becoming”, but recognised that wneeded a better world and better people for this to become a reality. According to Maslow, “peak experiences" are "rare, exciting, oceanic, deeply moving, exhilarating, elevating experiences that generate an advanced form of perceiving reality, and are even mystic and magical in their effect”.

Simplypsychology provides a comprehensive review of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, including its practical application and critical evaluation. And there has been much further development of his approach in the 50 or so years since his death, for example as presented by Scott Barry Kaufman in Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization, where he develops a sail-boat metaphor in place of the traditional triangle.

Meaning and purpose in life for humanists

Session six of the Greater Manchester Humanists course explores meaning and purpose in life for humanists. It stresses that, unlike religious believers, humanists reject the idea of an overall meaning or purpose in life given by a supernatural authority. Nevertheless, most agree that life should be meaningful. Indeed, it is almost a definition of being a humanist to try to make some meaning out of life for ourselves, and to work out some set of purposes to guide our lives. So there are as many meanings and purposes as there are individuals. This theme is developed in The meanings of life, an insightful article by social psychologist Roy Baumeister on how we should go about finding a meaningful life, not just a happy one. Based on extensive research, he reaches the conclusion that a meaningful life has these four characteristics:

1. It has purposes that guide action from the past to the present, giving it direction. Some cultures may dictate what we do, while others may give us much more choice

2. It has values that enable us to judge what is good and what is bad, and justify our actions

3. It has “efficacy”, so that our actions make a positive contribution to realising our goals, and make us feel that we can make a difference

4. It makes it possible for us to see ourselves as good and worthy people

Baumeister concludes with this observation: ”People ask what is the meaning of life, as if there is a single answer. There is no one answer: there are thousands of different ones. A life will be meaningful if it finds responses to the four questions of purpose, value, efficacy, and self-worth. It is these questions, not the answers, that endure and unify.”

This part of the GMH course also considered spirituality for humanists, a topic which was extensively covered in the May 2022 issue of Humanistically Speaking. (My own contribution is on pp8/9.)

Man’s Search for Meaning

Many other writers have made important contributions on the issue of how are we to live, besides those I have already mentioned. In particular, I should say more about Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, which explores the depths of human suffering, resilience, and the quest for purpose in life.

The first part of the book is a harrowing memoir of his time in Auschwitz, Dachau, and other concentration camps. Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist, describes the brutal and dehumanising conditions he endured along with millions of other prisoners, while observing how different people responded to the extreme conditions of the camps. He noticed that those who could find meaning in their suffering, whether through thoughts of loved ones, holding on to a future goal, or finding some purpose in their current suffering, were more likely to survive. This observation forms the core of his belief in the power of meaning to help people endure the worst hardships. The following quotations from Frankl’s writings illustrate his hard-won psychological insights:

• “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.”

• “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”

• “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

• “No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.”

• “No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him.”

The second part of the book explains “logotherapy”, Frankl’s psychological theory and therapeutic approach. He argues that the search for meaning is the central human motivational force. Unlike Freudian psychoanalysis, which focuses on the drive for pleasure, or Adlerian psychology, which centres on the drive for power, logotherapy argues that the pursuit of meaning is the most significant factor in human psychology. Developed forms of this therapy are now practised in several countries including Austria but not, it seems, in the UK.      

A brief guide to other writers

I conclude with brief notes on the views of some other writers: inevitably this covers only a small part of the literature.

Alfred Adler, a pioneer of individual psychology, emphasised the role of social interest and community feeling in finding meaning. He believed that we find purpose through contributions to the welfare of others and developing a sense of belonging and cooperation. Adler’s concept of striving for significance and overcoming feelings of inferiority involves creating a meaningful life through social connectedness and personal development.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced Mee-HIGH Cheek-SENT-me-high) is best known for his work on the concept of “flow”, a state of deep immersion in activities that are challenging yet achievable. While he did not focus solely on meaning, his work on flow relates to the idea that engaging in activities that fully absorb and challenge us can lead to a sense of purpose and fulfilment. He suggested that creating meaning in life involves setting goals and engaging in activities that produce flow, contributing to a sense of harmony and purpose.

Ed Diener, known for his work on subjective well-being, explored the relationship between happiness and meaning. He suggested that while happiness is more about positive emotions and life satisfaction, meaning involves deeper engagement with life, including pursuing goals, relationships, and values that contribute to a sense of purpose. Diener emphasised that a full life involves a balance between hedonic well-being and eudaimonic well-being, which includes meaning and purpose.

Emile Durkheim’s work on social integration and anomie highlighted how societal structures and norms contribute to an individual’s sense of meaning. He argued that a lack of social integration and regulation can lead to feelings of meaninglessness and despair, as seen in his study of suicide. According to Durkheim, meaning is derived from one’s participation in social institutions and adherence to shared norms and values, which provide a framework for understanding one’s role in society.

Existentialist philosophers such as Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, and Friedrich Nietzsche grapple with the inherent meaninglessness of life, suggesting that meaning must be created by individuals through their own choices and actions.

Sam Harris has written on the concept of a meaningful life, and he explores how we can lead meaningful lives without relying on religious frameworks. His approach often integrates philosophy, neuroscience and meditation practices.

Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology, includes meaning as a core component of his PERMA model of well-being (Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment). He defines meaning as belonging to and serving something greater than oneself. Seligman argues that having a sense of purpose is essential for achieving a flourishing life, suggesting that individuals can find meaning through service, love, creativity, and knowledge.

Susan Wolf, in her philosophical work, proposes that a meaningful life involves active engagement in projects of worth – activities that are both subjectively fulfilling and objectively valuable. She argues that meaning arises when individuals pursue activities they are passionate about and that contribute to something larger than themselves, combining subjective satisfaction with objective value.

Paul Wong is known for his work in existential psychology and positive psychology, particularly his concept of “meaning-centred therapy”.  He argues that finding meaning is a fundamental human motivation and is essential for well-being. Wong identifies several sources of meaning, including personal relationships, achievements, personal growth, and transcendence. He emphasises the importance of a “dual-systems” model of happiness, which involves both the pursuit of pleasure and the search for meaning.